I’m really failing at this guys.
I hate failure. I hate being vulnerable and open.
I did finally realize why I’m not sticking to the working out. It is emotional, and let’s leave it at that for the time being.
What do you do when you find yourself struggling to do what you should? Do you give yourself a reward when you hit the goal? Grin and bear it so that you either convince yourself you love it or fake it through? I’m trying to lean on God. I’m trying to rest in who I am in Christ. However, sometimes the voices of the past ring more loudly in my head than at other times. This is one of the louder times.
I haven’t even let myself get my hair cut like I’ve been wanting to the last several months now that we have some money to do so.
I’ve been better on cutting out my sweet tea consumption at least. I’ve even had several cups of hot herbal without any sweetener. And yesterday we found organic cane sugar on clearance at the store and bought quite a bit. That made me excited.
I’ve been keeping up on the dishes better. Now if they pile up for more than a day or two they totally drive me crazy. That’s a good thing. Wednesday I deep cleaned our bedroom. Then sprayed homemade disinfectant all over it and hot washed all of our bedding since we had been sick with that nasty nasty bad cold. Homemade disinfectant is quite simple to make. It also clears odors from the furnishings of the room. All you need is vodka and water. Fill a spray bottle with half vodka, top off with water and you’re good to spray. If you want to add some essential oil to it, go ahead. It smells like hand sanitizer when you use it, but that smell leaves rapidly. We had left over vodka from making my homemade vanilla.
I’ve been more intentional with the girls. That’s been good. And we’ve been laughing together more this last week. I forget how much fun it is to just be silly with the girls. I want them to think back when they are old how much fun they had with their mom at times. And I want them to know that it is ok to just be silly. I still have to work on being silly myself.
So, tomorrow is another day. And I will live fully in it. I will recommit myself to a disciplined life and start over. It’s all any of us can do.
Thanks for bearing with me on this crazy journey. Feel free to chime in and join us.
Read my post from yesterday and get the book I mention at the beginning!!! I think you would enjoy it and need it!!! It’s a GREAT book! Of course, we’re watching the videos too (in our Women’s Bible Study on Wed night), but you could get everything from the book you need! It’s a totally new way of thinking. You’ll love it!
Keep it up! You’re doing great! Realizing we need to keep working on our changes is what its all about!
Annette recently posted..Thursday Thoughts: Inside Out
I have been wanting that book for quite awhile. I think I may be ordering it when I place this year’s school order in a couple of weeks. Though I’m fairly certain HubbaHubba would let me get it tonight since I’m supposed to leave for awhile as the girls have a surprise they want to do for me that I’m not supposed to know about. Thanks!
*hugs* Don’t forget that with all the goals we set, we’re still human. We fall down, we get back up, and keep on going. Keep your focus where you have it, and you’ll do fine.
*hugs*
Angie @ Sunny Patch recently posted..Growing Pains