I have read a lot of books on marriage from when Hubbs and I were courting and then engaged and since getting married. We truly wish to have the best marriage possible. Especially in our current society of easy and fast divorce for any reason.
I recently got to review the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs courtesy of Book Sneeze. I was very pleased with this book.
Love and Respect is written on the premise that the best marriages are a two way street. That a woman needs to give her husband respect, no matter what, and that a man needs to love his wife no matter what. It totally goes against popular culture and self-serving beliefs about marriage. Marriage isn’t about making yourself feel good, or about meeting your needs exclusively. It is about caring for and giving your all for another person, your spouse. There are several books out there that won’t admit that, and this one does.
As a woman, I have to remember, and this book does an excellent job of reminding me that, that men don’t necessarily want to be the recipients of ooey gooey love and romance (don’t get me wrong, but going all out and getting a sitter and surprising your husband with a lovely date night is still appreciated), but most men want to know that their wives respect them. That their wives think they are great, they take pains to not talk bad about them to their friends and that they will stick up for them, especially when the going gets tough (and in life, there are lots of tough times). This isn’t to be chauvinistic or misogynistic, but it is the way men are wired. So buck the trend of feminism and respect your husband ladies, you will reap a great reward. Become a student of your husband and learn how he best receives respect. Is it telling him to his face? Writing him a note? Talking good about him to the family, bragging on him in public? You’ll come up with ideas that are custom tailored to him, just pray and think over it.
Husbands are to love their wives. Women typically enjoy the ooey gooey romance things. Flowers, chocolates, back rubs. Even doing a chore for her as a surprise. Men, become a student of your wife, figure out how she sees love best and do it. We really aren’t that hard to figure out 😉
Marriage patterned after what our contemporary society says is right (in it for yourself, you need to look out for yourself first, etc) will probably be miserable. This book’s Biblical pattern of marriage works. I’ve seen others in good Biblical marriages and they look a lot like how this book describes. Give it a shot, it may take a few months, but things will start to improve. Even if you have an already good marriage, it will become phenomenal.
I received a copy of Love and Respect from Thomas Nelson Publishers as a part of their Book Sneeze program. All opinions are mine and mine alone and no other compensation was received.